So what does making yourself happy mean to you? Hanging out with friends, taking yourself out to places you feel like, eating food you feel for, dressing up and taking pictures afterwards, watching movies and series, buying stuff you really need without it affecting your pocket, reading books, travelling around, enjoying social media without thinking about your data, etc. Don’t judge my description, I know mine sounds way better than yours.
So why does this ‘make yourself happy’ bores me most of the time. Imagine being broke most of the time. Imagine being an introvert. Imagine having friends who don’t have time for your broke self. Imagine having no active life at your youthful stage. How am I supposed to make myself happy? Don’t come at me with the ‘happiness comes from within’ story. No one has struggled with making oneself happy in the last 2 years more than me. Been on and off jobs all in the name of making myself happy. I have tried random activities as hobbies such as DIY home stuff, blogging, designing, yoga and so many business ideas. Trust me, no one discovers new passion or talents pass an unemployed youth. My close friends know this, they always laugh when I go like ‘hey, so I have this new thing I am interested in’ every new month.
After all these experiences, I am almost depressed like 3-4 times in a week. I really try to find that happiness within me but I am still not a happy human being. Same depressed girl refuses to go out, refuses to meet new people, refuses to join any active group or church activity, refuses to stay away from people who do not appreciate me, refuses to travel and have a feel of new environment. I virtually repeat same lifestyle which keeps me depressed all the time.
So ask me, ‘what do I really want’? I want realness, like happiness can be in others (Not everyday happiness is in your type of story). Scooby Doo was genuinely happy when Shaggy was around. Spongebob still loved Patrick with all his dumbness. Tom would be depressed without any Jerry to torment, same with Sylvester and Tweety. Even with the most menial of activities, Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny’s natural chemistry allowed them to bring out hilarity always. All I’m trying to say is, it’s not a bad thing to find happiness outside your internal organs or structures. It is not bad to find happiness from someone else, even cartoon characters do. So do not listen to people with that ‘hey, you’re too soft, too emotional, this or that person is not worth your happiness’. After all, we all need someone. That person giving you fake counselling would later find happiness in adog or some ‘Game of Thrones’ character. Feel free, love yourself, love others, find happiness anywhere or in anything, no one knows you more than you so do what makes you happy.
Oh! And guess what, I think this makes me happy. Sharing my thoughts with an amazing reader like yourself. Thank you.