When it comes to what women want in bed,
men tend to make serious avoidable mistakes.
When it comes to what women want in bed, men tend
to make serious avoidable mistakes.
While you may give yourself pep talks before a lazy
encounter or pat yourself on the back after a great
time in bed, don’t be too smug about knowing what
A recent survey suggests that most men are not the
skillful lovers they think themselves to be. When it
comes to the fundamentals, men tend to make some
serious mistakes in the sack. Here are the 10 avoidable
No matter the circumstances, most men tend to be
eerily silent during the entire act. You may think that’s
fine, but this makes your woman feel alienated. It
makes her wonder if she’s actually pleasuring you.
There’s no need to exaggerate your feelings, but you
can let your partner know you’re enjoying her
company in a genuine way. The occasional moans and
groans are not such a bad thing.
Foreplay is not a means to an end
Most men tend to breeze through it — the effortless
kissing here and caressing there, as they undress. But
in too much anticipation of a great act, you may
appear desperate to begin. And that won’t score you
any brownie points in the long run. Take it slowly.
Enjoy every aspect of the encounter as you get to know
the woman you are with. Women enjoy a well-paced
build-up — the making-out, the undressing, the
reciprocal oral seks. This will also lead to a more
fulfilling encounter. And perhaps, a standing
invitation for more.
Forget the big O
Besides, when you approach seks with a clear focus on
only reaching an orgasm, you may lose sight of the
path to the climactic moment. Don’t pressure yourself,
or your partner, to hit the finish line as quickly as
possible. Rather than rush it, why not enjoy the
experience as a whole. You’ll prolong your pleasure,
and your partner will feel like she’s with a guy who
actually knows what he’s doing. The conclusion,
though delayed, will be a lot more satisfying for both.
Avoid the licking
Performing oral seks on a woman means quick licks at
the labia majora, followed by brief, orgasm-inducing
penetration with your tongue. However, while that
may seem enticing, the labial tonguelashing is not a
technique that docs recommend.
Use The fingers carefully
Although digital penetration is considered a normal
part of foreplay, some guys get overeager and, confuse
their fingers for crotches. As a result, they finger their
partners with a vigour reserved for seks. This also
reflects that they have no clue what a woman wants,
which is why they have resolved to go hard and fast.
Instead, you should aim for a more measured
approach; make her get used to the feel of your fingers
as you gradually insert more of them. There’s room
for intensity, but a little nuance will surely take you a
Sensitise to her wants
If you think that simply pounding away at a woman
during seks is a major turn-on, you are wrong. Yet,
many men convinced that it will ultimately bring their
partners to the O. But women are sensitive souls.
They appreciate nuance, feeling and deep emotion. So,
rather than thrusting away from beginning to end,
you’ll want to vary your speed throughout seks. Gauge
your partner’s response, take it as a lead and simply
go with the flow. If she asks you to go harder, oblige.
But if the moment calls for it, go slowly. The key is to
sensitise yourself to what she wants, and not what you
Go easy with the clit
Women enjoy the clitoral stimulation than any sort of
penetration. So never ignore her clitoris. Yet, at the
same time, don’t treat it like a scratch card and rub
relentlessly in order to make your partner climax.
Remember, the clitoris is extremely sensitive, so too
much force can actually prove painful.
Keep her entire body in mind
When you have seks, you aim to pleasure the woman
you are with. So it makes sense that many guys focus
on the one or two sensitive areas of her body like the
neck or thighs. However, the next step is not to look
for other ways to please her. Though this notion is
understandable, it is also incredibly short-sighted. The
law of diminishing returns applies everywhere — even
in the bedroom. If you’ve worked her neck for a
while, move down to her breasts. And you may not
want to focus heavily on her clitoris.
can sometimes prove unpleasant. So keep things
varied. As the age-old adage goes, variety is the spice
Rough now, but be sweet later
There’s nothing wrong with a little roughness if it’s
consensual. But you should never take it too far (no
one wants to leave the bedroom in need of medical
attention) and you should always remember to show
some compassion afterward. When it’s all over, make
sure you pay attention to her immediate needs, which
will likely mean some snuggling and cuddling.
Don’t stress about the G-Spot
The location of the G-Spot (Grafenberg Spot), has long
eluded men. It is widely understood to be a couple of
inches up the anterior vaginal wall, between the
vaginal opening and the urethra. Your search will
probably be less scientific, once you’ve inserted your
fingers into her vagina, curl them as though you were
asking someone to come toward you; the spot you’re
looking for will feel rippled. But don’t let that elusive
area become the be-all, end-all of your seks life.