Ladies, if you are fond of making so much noise during intercouse, then you should really know what your guy thinks when you make such noise. Below are 13 thoughts that might be going through your guy’s mind.
1. Wow, I must be doing a great job. She’s like p0rn0-loud. Which is awesome. I am king.
2. This is pretty hot. I’m into this. Maybe I’m too into this. Stay focused, dude.
3. What if the neighbors can hear? Do you think they’re impressed? I wonder at what point they go from “impressed” to “annoyed”? Probably after the first 30 seconds.
4. What if children can hear? I guess I’d feel kind of bad about that. I wonder how many impromptu “this is where babies come from” talks our sekz is forcing parents to awkwardly have. I should stop thinking about this during intercourse.
5. Wait, what if people think something bad is happening? Oh, no. What if they think I’m murdering her. Like, I know what’s really up, but if I were standing outside, what would I assume is going on in here? I wonder if that says something about how I look, if my neighbors are more likely to assume that I am murdering someone instead of pleasing them seksually.
6. What if the police get called? I guess I’d be OK with dying in a hail of gunfire while having sekz. Everyone would feel really bad about that afterward, I bet. All the neighbors would be saying how they wished they knew I was just good at seks-having.
7. Oh, god. My ears. That one was right in my ear. I think she even did it on purpose. Does she think I like it when she puts her mouth over my ear and screams?
8. Can I get tinnitus from this? Is it worth it? I guess so. But maybe weird to brag about at the bar.
9. Is she faking? I mean, I’ve never come so hard I screamed. This is starting to seem theatrical.
10. I definitely don’t want to pause the action and ask. That’d be bad. I can’t even imagine how that would go. “Hey, sorry. I stopped because you seem way to into it and it’s making me incredulous.”
11. Nah, you know what? I’d rather just assume this is all me. Why ruin a good thing?
12. Oh, she finished. Now it feels eerily quiet.
13. It’s really hard to orgasm with a ringing in your ears. It’s like I just went to a fireworks show. This was basically the Fourth of July of intercourse.